Introduction: Reclaiming Calm After the Storm
If you’ve overcome insomnia and or tapered off sleeping pills~ especially powerful ones like benzodiazepines~ and begun to sleep naturally again, a setback can feel deeply discouraging. It may stir fear and the temptation to reinstate medications you worked so hard to leave behind. But take heart: a setback is not a failure. It’s simply information from your body that your nervous system has encountered a stressor and needs gentle care. Recovery is not only possible~ it can happen more quickly each time once you understand what’s really going on.
Understanding Setbacks: Why They Happen
People who’ve had chronic insomnia or who have weaned off medications like benzodiazepines often live with a more sensitive nervous system. Even minor triggers~ an emotionally charged conversation, upsetting news, scrolling through social media, or consuming high-histamine or sugary foods ~ can set off the body’s stress response. I have experienced insomnia, anxiety, and physical symptoms like paresthesia and even temporary neuropathy.
Since my experience with a severe case of COVID in 2021, my nervous system has remained fragile. Though I survived the illness, I emerged with lingering effects ~ hypersensitivity, histamine intolerance, and episodes of dis-regulation. These flare-ups occasionally result in sleep setbacks. Broken, delayed sleep onset, bathroom trips or early morning wakings are very common as people age, especially after 50, our melatonin production decreases. Many just aren’t going to sleep a full unbroken 8-9 hours like when we were younger. But with compassionate awareness, some increased distress tolerance and a dedicated self-care practice, I’ve learned how to move through more acute setbacks and bouts of insomnia without spiraling back into medication reliance.
Step One: Don’t Panic~ Thank Your Body!
When insomnia returns, instead of resisting or fearing it, offer your body gratitude. That may sound strange, but hear me out. Your body is sounding an alarm: “Something is overwhelming me.” That alarm might be emotional, environmental, biochemical, or all three. By listening with curiosity instead of fear, you shift from a reactive state to one of empowered compassion.
Struggling against insomnia and getting upset activates the sympathetic nervous system~your fight-or-flight mode. But acknowledging what’s happening, and leaning into gentleness, tells your body: “You’re safe now.”
Step Two: Befriend Your Wakefulness
One of the most transformative tools in recovering from insomnia setbacks is the practice of befriending wakefulness. Instead of lying in bed in a state of panic, repeating the narrative that you simply must sleep, shift your inner dialogue:
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“It’s okay if I don’t sleep tonight.”
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“My body is doing its best.”
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“I will be tired tomorrow, but I can still function. I’ll sleep better the next night.”
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“There’s nothing dangerous about being awake.”
Accepting the wakefulness~ rather than fighting it~ helps quiet the limbic system and eventually restores balance. You can read, journal, meditate, or do a quiet creative project. Continue with your normal schedule the next day (as long as you’re safe to drive and work), and avoid letting insomnia control your life.
Step Three: Support Your Nervous System Naturally
When I feel a setback brewing, I enter a self-care mode immediately. Here’s what works for me~ and what many holistic sleep experts recommend:
Nervous System Reset Checklist:
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Eat a Low-Histamine Diet: Avoid fermented foods, aged cheeses, wine, processed meats, and other known histamine triggers, especially before bed. Histamine intolerance is often overlooked and linked to insomnia and anxiety. There is a low histamine food wellness app called InToler that works well. I take a Quercetin and DAO supplement daily to help to metabolize histamine.
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Use Antihistamines (if appropriate): Over-the-counter antihistamines can calm the inflammatory response, especially during pollen season. These medications do have side effects and concerns with long term use, but as far as I have read, are far better and safer than benzodiazepines. Always work closely with your healthcare provider.
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Avoid Sugar and Alcohol at Night: Both spike blood sugar and can disturb your sleep cycle. The other night I was on vacation and had a huge slice of cheesecake for dessert at 9pm, and couldn’t get to sleep until 1:30!
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Don’t Overeat Before Bed: Aim for your largest meal at lunch and eat lightly in the evening. Dr. Doulliard from Lifespa claims that this changed his life and lowers blood pressure permanently. Buddhist monks who follow the Vinaya eat their largest meal at noon, and this practice of having the largest meal during the day is referred throughout vedic health and wellness.
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Get Morning Sunlight: Bright morning light right when you wakeup and golden sun in the later afternoon regulates circadian rhythms and boosts serotonin which is the precursor to melatonin.
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Move Gently Daily: Yoga, stretching, and a daily brisk walk twice a day can help discharge stress and improve sleep.
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Wind Down for Two Hours Before Bed: Turn off electronics, block blue light, and do something calming. TV if its far away and something calming like a nature show is ok. It is hard to wean off of a phone, internet or e-reader~ but it’s invaluable during setbacks.
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Meditate and Do Breathwork: The practice of deep, slow abdominal breathing activate the parasympathetic nervous system, your body’s rest-and-digest mode. On a “bad” night, I listen to binaural beats or listen to guided healing meditations.
Step Four: Rewire the Inner Dialogue
How you speak to yourself in the middle of a setback shapes how quickly you recover. You are not broken. You are not weak. Your body is signaling a need for safety and soothing. It’s best to not get into a struggle with yourself.
Repeat to yourself:
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“I am safe.”
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“This is temporary.”
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“My body knows how to heal.”
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“Everything will be okay.”
Insomnia is often the body’s gentle way of saying, “I don’t feel safe right now. There is something awry, please listen.” Your job is to create internal and external conditions of wellness and safety to allow sleep to occur. It can not be forced, its is an autonomic process, but you can provide conditions for calmness and safety.
Final Thoughts: You Can Trust Your Recovery
Setbacks are not relapses~ they’re invitations to deepen your care and learn more about your nervous system. If you stay kind, informed, and grounded, you can navigate these moments without returning to medications that have dangerous side effects. Over time, your system will grow more resilient. You’ll recover faster. And you’ll build trust in your body and its ability to sleep, naturally and well.
Helpful Resources:
Let this be your gentle reminder: you’re not alone, this is a common problem these days, but you can sleep again.